My Son, the Death Eater
by Serenity Blossom
Summary: He is the shadow of Lucius and that is what terrifies me the most.[Narcissa Point of View]


My Son, the Death Eater

Summery: Draco was my light, and now the light is gone, and that terrifies me.

Disclaimer: Self-explanatory

_Draco was my light, and now the light is gone, and that terrifies me._

_He is not my baby I used to hold with so much care. He is no longer my child. He is now his father's child. He is the shadow of Lucius and that is what terrifies me the most._

_Draco took the mark. I begged him not too. He yelled at me and asked me, 'Are you not a follower? Are you not a Malfoy? It is your duty to do all you can to please the Dark Lord! Where is your pride Mother?'_

_I don't believe I have ever cried as much as I did that night. I cried for my beloved Draco, my husband Lucius, my sister who has gone completely mad, and most of all, I cried for me. I cried for my lost dreams, I cried for my family which I could not keep together, I cried for my lost love, for my broken heart, and I cried for the Malfoy Pride which binds me to do exactly what Draco said that I must._

_I must give my husband, my lover, the only man who has cared for me to the Dark Lord. I must give my son, my light, my baby to succeed his father as a Death Eater for the Dark Lord. I must give my self to the Dark Lord and I must also give Him my devotion to follow Him through it all. How can I not? He has claimed my family. He has claimed my husband, my son, my sister, my cousins, and my friends. My whole essence now revolves around that man, and I can only pray that He will conquer all so I may receive those I care about the most back._

_My dearest diary, what am I to do? I have already risked everything to have Severus promise to keep my baby safe. I risked my life to travel to his home to save my son. Diary! I am a mad woman… How could I have let this happen? Am I so driven to save my child and to save my family that I would actually put myself and possibly them in danger? My dearest, I have truly never seen this side of me before._

_I am not one to let my feelings show. I am the Ice Queen. I have poise and I have grace beyond my years. I have always been more cunning and sneakier then anyone I knew. I play people, I toy with their emotions. I mess with their minds, with their thoughts._

_I am not one to be physical with people, I do not fight, I do not duel, I do not torture. I sit back and watch others do it for me. I am not someone to run around all over to run errands. I am not one to leave my comfort zone. But that night, the night I went to Severus' I snapped inside. I was willing to stun anyone who got in my way, to torture those in my path; I was willing to run around the planet to save my son from the fate I have dreaded he would receive since the day he was born._

_Of course, I have had 16 years to figure out how to save my son but I put it off, thinking that Lucius would not allow the Dark Lord to take our son. I thought that Lucius would excel at all missions and my Draco would never been needed._

_Then it all came down like a ton of bricks upon my world. The mayhem at the Ministry affected every Death Eater. They had failed once again to please the Dark Lord. My Lucius was sent off to that place, to the prison where your very soul is ripped from your body. But I believe in him, he is strong and he will escape unharmed. The Dementors have already abandoned Azkaban and it will not be long before Lucius will escape._

_I am depending on him to find a way out and come home. I am depending on him to come save me, to save me from my self. I am not the woman I once was. I have changed for the worse. I am a lost long soul who is near the edge of life and sanity._

_I have just remembered something. Many, many years ago I wrote to you about how I thought Draco would spend the rest of his life trying to please his father. And yes, that was exactly what happened. Draco tried everything he could possibly think of to gain the love and respect from his father. Lucius rarely ever let Draco know how he felt about his son, but there was a day when he said something Draco had always wanted to hear._

_It was snowing fiercely, and it was frigid outside. Draco was home over the Christmas break and we were sharing a quiet dinner. Draco's left forearm was exposed and bare. Lucius was eying it throughout the meal and Draco noticed. He then said 'Father you know what should be there as well as I do, and it will be there next Christmas. Do not worry.' I let out a tiny gasp as thoughts swirled around in my mind. Lucius swiftly replied, 'You are a true Malfoy, my son.'_

_Those were the only words Draco ever needed to hear. If he were deaf and were only allowed one phrase to hear his entire life, those were the words he would want. Those simple seven words affected that boy more then anything. He knew what he had to do. And he did it. He took that bloody mark and now I must live with the consequences of that conversation for the rest of my days._

_Draco, my poor Draco, had his life written in the pages of time before he was even born. He has been living in a story that was written long before the Earth existed. The days of that damned Harry Potter are upon us, and Draco is a vital character in the demise or rise of the 'Boy Who Lived'. My son has no idea of the life he is to have. He will spend many days in hiding. He had dark and lonely life, and it will only get worse._

_I know my son. He does not want this fate. He feels he has no choice in the matter. Draco does not realize how similar we are. We are two people trapped in a life which we want desperately to escape. We are both damned by decisions made by Lucius, and there is not a way for us to escape our fates._

_I shall always protect Draco because he is my son. He has a chance for a better life, he has time. He is young he could still live the life he wants. My time is up, my choices have been made. I cannot leave this life I lead. I am trapped with no way out. Draco has hope. Draco has hope, the only thing he needs to have. He has yet to realize it, but when that day of the biggest battle of the War happens, he will have the will and hope to survive. He will also have my hope and my love. I will die for that boy if I must, because he is my one and only child._

_But my dearest diary, thank you for being loyal and true to me. Thank you for listening to the tattered drabbles of a broken woman. Now I must hide you, perhaps the one thing I do not want to do at the moment. But over the years varying from my days at Hogwarts to the present I have written things about people that I should have never have. Especially now that we are at war I cannot risk this. You will be put in the safest place I can think of and someday, maybe years from now, someone will find you and they will know the true story of the one and only Ice Queen, of Narcissa Black Malfoy._

_Perhaps my son will find this or my husband may, and if either of you do… All I have done has been for you._

_With all my love,_

_Narcissa_


End file.
